The grass isn't always greener on the other side…

Letter from 2012-11-16

I’ve heard this saying time and time again. The thing that’s interesting is that this phrase always seems to come out as a way to discourage pursuit. My dad was preaching once and said, “the isn’t greener on the other side… it’s turf!”. The part that we tend to miss with this statement is the heart, or intention, of the one being spoken to. As the speaker, we offer caution, reservation and skepticism. But, what about the listener? What about the thoughts, plans and desires of that person?

The answer is simple. I wasn’t looking for grass. I wasn’t looking for green, greener or greenest grass. What if I was looking for turf? Or ground cover? Or swamp-land? Or sand? Sand, you say? Yes, sand. Whether I chose Arizona or Florida, there’s still sand. Both desirable in their own ways… But to be brutally honest, I wasn’t looking for any of these things. I was looking for YOU, that special someone. I was looking for YOU, that new job. I was looking for YOU, that new process. I was looking for YOU.

Everything that we look for, desire or are passionate about does not have to be an upgrade, update or even a step up. What happened to lateral moves? What happened to starting over?

As friends, we need to support one another, not only when it’s convenient for us but at all times. The real test of friendship is when we don’t agree, or when adversity comes. A true friend is worth their weight in gold and worth fighting for. The real answer comes when we realize this… Are they in the fight with me or not?

I have a friend that was recently diagnosed with situational depression. I don’t really know what that is.. so I decided to look it up to see how I can help. The short version of this disease is that when people have life changes such as loss of loved one / relationship, loss / change of job, serious illness, marriage, child birth, etc., they develop emotional and/or behavioral symptoms as a reaction to these changes. These symptoms include everything from Feelings of hopelessness, Sadness, Frequent crying, Anxiety (nervousness), Headaches or stomachaches, Palpitations (an unpleasant sensation of irregular or forceful beating of the heart), Withdrawal or isolation from people and social activities, Dangerous or destructive behavior, such as fighting, reckless driving, and vandalism, Changes in appetite, either loss of appetite, or overeating and the list goes on…

What is comforting is that this disease is treatable. What is necessary is support. What is special is that they reached out to me.

A part of my friend’s issues has been the suppression of personal desires because “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”.

I just want you to know that it’s okay to have desires that don’t conform to everyone else’s thoughts, beliefs or tendencies. And it’s okay to pursue them!!! The truth is we all have desires that we haven’t pursued. It takes a something special to go after what you want…

Finally, here’s my word of caution… If your desires include other people, make sure that their desires are headed in the same direction. How can two walk lest they agree?

I love you ALL!!!!
Stay blessed,

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