If you’ve learned anything about me either face-to-face or thru my letters, you’ll know that I am the greatest advocate for creating, building, salvaging and growing relationships. The most important thing in life isn’t the stuff that I’ve acquired but the friends that I’ve made. Another personal trait of mine is that I am THEE most loyal person that you will find. Combine those two traits and you have a friend for eternity. Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that not all relationships will last. No matter how much you love and hard you fight for it, some friendships come to an end. The difficult part is knowing when to step away and move on.
In every relation-/friendship (for my own sanity I will just say ‘ship’ for the rest of this letter), you have those times of disagreement, troubles and hurt. Every ship has them. I don’t care how wonderful either of you are… your ship will be tested and tried. The key is YOU knowing where their heart lies and vice versa. It’s easy to say, “I’ll be there thru thick and thin” or “we’ll be friends until the toe tags”. But, what happens when we don’t fully recover from those rough spots? What happens when one of us doesn’t want to stay in the ship? Well, then the real comes out…
Whenever a ship dies there are a plethora of emotions flying around. There is the love, the hurt, the joy, the disbelief, the anticipation, the grief, and the list goes on. For now, I’ll only comment on a couple of these emotions… love and hurt.
You’re in a ship because on some level love is shared. Now, for the super deep people… not all love is that that’s physically shared between a man and woman, or sexual. Actually, if that’s all you feel for any person then I pity you. There is a love that you can have with a someone that transcends our physical nature and is held in the cradle of the universe. A love so strong that you don’t even see the flaws in a person, that the mere thought of them envelopes you in joy and makes you smile or just seeing them makes you fall in love over and over again. I digress, that may be too deep for some of you… but seriously, every ship carries love. It may be displayed as mutual respect, comaraderie, teacher/student, etc. The point is that this is what the ship is built on.
The hurt comes when that foundation has been marred, damaged or destroyed and the ship is unrecoverable. I was talking to a guy and he said that the worst feeling ever was being in love with someone and they leave you. That’s true but there is an even greater tormentor. The feeling you have when they accept another, or when they’ve moved on and you haven’t… He acknowledged how people can go postal in light of these situations. And sadly, it’s true.
Here’s my ultimate point with this gloomy epitaph… Life is short and all we have is today. It may hurt like Hades but sometimes a ship isn’t worth saving. That doesn’t mean there is any less love or that our affections have been diminished, just that they need to be redirected. Time is a gift and it shouldn’t be wasted on anything or anyone…
So, here is today’s assignment:
We all have ships that can’t be saved. We need to acknowledge which ones they are and bring them to a close… first, in our hearts and then for real.
I love you ALL!!!