Observations Relationships

Easy to love…

I heard this phrase once before but I heard it again this past week. I was talking with a guy about pets and he said that he preferred dogs over cats because they are ‘easy to love’. What he was referring to was their disposition. Dogs generally are right there under foot whereas cats show a sense of indifference. The more that I thought about this phrase, the more I feel it is a lie. When something is easy to do then it can easily not be done.

My pastor spoke today regarding relationship. He talked about some of the differences and similarities between men and women. It was a very good teaching. One of the things that he said was how people need a release. One thing about men is that by nature we don’t do a lot of sharing of our feelings. Especially, with my generation, and before, we were taught not to cry. We were taught to “suck it up and be a man”. We were taught to be ‘strong’. So…. when a man begins to share his emotions, that is an extremely powerful and vulnerable moment. This doesn’t happen often so whoever he opens up to is a very special person.

Unfortunately, people don’t listen. There’s always a reason that they can’t talk right now or something is going on and they’ll talk to you later or they’re just busy. Another reason is that people don’t care about YOUR point of view they’re only concerned with THEIRS. Finally, people may be available TO you but they don’t care ABOUT you.

As you’ve seen, I’ve been doing a whole lot of self-evaluation lately. One of the greatest areas for me is ‘friendships’. I was thinking the other day about all of the different “friends” that I’ve had over the years and something occurred to me… If they are your friends then where are they? Why are they not in your circle today? I think it goes back to ‘easy to love’.

I think back to one particular friend that I grew up with. He and I have shared some great and turbulent times. When traveling we’d always stop in to see him and his family. As a preacher, when he would be anywhere near where I was… I’d drop everything to support him. We’ve had decades of relationship… Another friend same type of deal except we were like telephone buddies. She and I could talk for hours. We gave each other advice on different situations and life events. We shared a lot of stuff. We had years of relationship… These are just two examples of both men and women friends. The most hurtful thing to me is this… During the time that I thought that I may have had cancer neither one of them reached out to me. I sent a direct email that simply said, “Please call me” and NOTHING. But, I was there for YOU. I could be dead right now and YOU never thought to call me to see what I wanted or needed but you’d have plenty of tears at my funeral…

You see, I truly love my friends and when you truly love someone, it’s not so easy just to walk away from them. What’s crazy to me is this… They may have physically walked away from me but my heart is still attached and in the oddest ways I’m are constantly reminded of them.

It really boils down to this one teeny tiny fact. I miss my mom. Not only was she my mom but she was my friend. She was my best-est friend in the whole wide world. She took time to talk when I wanted or needed her. She would give sound advice (whether I liked it or not). She made me feel like I was special. And she knew she was special to me. She listened to me. She and I were soo cool that things would happen and all we’d have to do was look at each other. That look was an entire conversation. I remember sitting by her bedside in the last moments of her life. My dad asked everyone if there was anything that we wanted to say to her because she was ‘leaving us’. When he came around to me, all I said was, “I don’t have anything to say. Mommy already knows.”

Normally, I’d ask, “So, how do we fix it?”… Not today.

The cool thing about God is that he prepares you for every season in your life. I will never stop loving my friends from yesterday. Separation doesn’t diminish what’s truly in your heart. Many times it only increases it. But, God just keeps presenting us with new people. Some will be acquaintances, some associates, and some will be friends. Which will you be?

I love you ALL!!!
Stay blessed,

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