Observations Relationships

Real Talk…

It’s time to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… One of the reasons that many relationships fail is because we aren’t honest with one another, or ourselves.

Now, I can see some of you ladies shaking your heads, waving your hands, and shouting ‘Amen”!! No, Boo… This ain’t one of those messages.

One of the true failures in MOST relationships is honesty. I did a survey several years ago where I asked people what was the most important thing in building and keeping a relationship. The most popular answer was, “Communication”. And, at the time, I completely agreed with the participants.

But, time brings about a change… Today, I believe that the most important thing in building and keeping a relationship is, “Overcoming Fear”. Fear?? Yes, fear of repeating the past; fear of the present; fear of the future; fear of the unknown; fear of losing control; fear of change; fear of what could, would, or should be; fear of letting go; fear of… Shall I continue?

Fear causes us to go out of our way in order to avoid the possibility of a problem or issue. Fear will make you hurt yourself. Fear will cause you to be irrational. Fear is a monster!! So, if you want a successful relationship, you MUST overcome fear.

One of the things that I’ve personally decided is to cast away the veil of mystery and dawn the vesture of transparency. We ALL talk about communication but, when it comes down to it.. Do we really want it? The truth is… NO!!! Because true communication causes us to produce something. There is a NEED for action which most of us don’t want to get into because of fear. We duck and dodge REAL conversations and dive into small talk which produces little to no action.

The real problem is that many miss what was destined for them because of all the small talk. The small talk was perceived as disinterest and the person moved on and found someone who was willing to truly converse with them. In Coming to America, Prince Akeem said it best, “I want a woman who will arouse my intellect as well as my loins.”

Here’s the test… How many times have you been aware of relationships where you KNEW that the two people didn’t match? But, yet they are moving forward with life and loving every moment of it. How many times have you seen that couple and said to yourself, “How did THEY get together?”

Many times we just brush that off as, he must have money or she was just rebounding. But, there’s much more to it than that.

Maybe the reason that you are still by yourself is because you aren’t willing to overcome your past. The ONLY person that wants to hear about your past is the person willing to help you to overcome it. THAT person is willing to invest in your FUTURE. AND, that person just may be your destiny.

There was a woman, who gained the favor of a king, eventually became queen, and even saved the lives of a nation of people all because she decided to have a conversation with someone who knew the king and what he prefers… Her name was Esther. She found favor with the king because she took that extra step.

Women, you have a treasure that men want. But, it doesn’t reside between your legs. It resides between your ears.

Men, you have a treasure that women want. But, it doesn’t swing in front of you. It is hidden behind your ribcage.

Real Talk…

I love you ALL!!! There’s a Nu Sound in the air…

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