Observations Relationships


One thing that I must say is, “God has given me the grace to experience a great many things.”

Now, I will also say that I haven’t always had the correct response to those experiences. But, experience nonetheless…

When it comes to marriage, I’ve learned that what I thought it was, or at least should be, had to evolve. My perception of “matrimonial bliss” had to be updated. My pastor used to ask married couples, “Are you still keeping the honey in the moon?” To this, the response was always a gleeful, “Yes sir!!”

But, after being married and remarried, the honest truth is that. Marriage is WORK!!

It’s nothing like the Cleavers, the Bradys, the Jetsons, the Flintstones, or even the Cosbys!!! When the husband and wife have a disagreement, it was cleared up and forgotten before the next commercial. AND, we’re moving on with life… hugs and kisses within 30 minutes.

Well, that’s not reality. Reality says that marriage is like Jenga. It’s a strategic game of move and counter-move, placement and balance, guts and glory.

You see in Jenga, the object it to remove a piece of the wooden tower and place it somewhere else on top of the tower without the tower collapsing. Then, your partner does the same thing. They remove a piece then, place it somewhere on top without all of the blocks crashing down.

Well, those wooden blocks are the challenges that we face each day. Those challenges are everything from getting out of bed on the right side to how long you spend sitting on the toilet; from how passionately your headed to work goodbye kiss is to how you answered the phone when your spouse calls ; from deciding which movie to go see to what’s for dinner ; from dealing with accomplishments to working thru frustrations… You see, each and every move that you make has an effect on the tower called marriage.

Sometimes, we are really good at moving the block and in those moments, we are America’s favorite couple. We’re up for the “Most Likely to Succeed” award. Then there are those times when we shake the tower… Why didn’t I ask my spouse if they had plans before I committed us to do this?

The key to winning in Jenga is about understanding that the tower must ALWAYS have balance.

More marriages come crumbling down because there’s an imbalance somewhere. When we spend too much time at our jobs, we create an imbalance at home. When we’re always yelling at the kids, we create an imbalance of understanding. When we’re always criticizing, we create an imbalance of harmony.

When we have an abundance of imbalances, we create an environment of failure for our marriages.

Reality has taught me that there WILL be moments of instability. The key to success is that when I create instability, my partner balances US out. When our spouse shakes the tower, we need to quickly find a way to shore up the foundation.

There are NO PERFECT COUPLES… But, there ARE couples who understand each other and who work together. The goal of this letter is to encourage you.

Your tower may be shaking right now but, even if your partner balance it out this time… Your turn is coming back around!! Fix it!! Make that tower straight again!! You can do it!! It’s worth it!!!

Oh yeah, I can’t forget to mention this… Don’t let other people shake the table and ruin your tower entirely!!! They’re just mad that your tower is taller than theirs!! Haha!!!

There’s a Nu Sound in the Air!!!
Stay Blessed

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